II
A parlor, any parlor, a throne sits directly in the middle. A man and woman are heard talking.
[Vela and Pavo pace around the throne]
Pavo:
So you heard then?
The knocking alongside my walls,
the drumming of my own,
[Pavo sits, Vela stops and stands behind Pavo]
flesh upon blood,
upon bone,
upon flesh.
Vela:
Yes I heard,
I heard the then sound
rattling from the bottom of your…. excellence.
[Vela begins pacing clockwise around the throne]
It sublimated these metal teeth at the heart,
which sunk into a spinning mess around my guts.
Casting this surreptitious light all over you…
and me into anger all at once.
Yet, still there are no tears,
Just, this heavy stare into hands
that wish themselves more muscle,
more avarice or brawn…
[Pavo stands looking ashamed/bewildered, Vela sits in the throne looking to her far right, while Pavo begins pacing around the throne counter-clock wise]
Just, this reflection upon glass
longing to be repeated.
To be held by something of fidelity….
Something with a brawn of its own…
that I may be tempted to call into myself…
as you have.
And that nagging why that has been knifed between my breasts
still begs the question.
Pavo:
See, you begin with a spasm/a squirm,
just after sighting a bead of sweat
threading down
the oblique of a man
during an outing/ a footrace.
Then you have a what-if/ a wonder,
which sparks the skin into a frenzy,
and bodies follow,
[Vela stands, Pavo sits down and begins having visions]
to be thronged all over the axis of the man
bending into you. It kills
to sway the hunger
of the perineum….
Damn that Tiresias
Always right, always
In seeing,
the pleasure in reception/ in the permeation of
in seeing
the unclenching of heavens
with a pulsed
(breathing heavy)
repeating of
(feeling over his body with his own hands)
resting after, in seeing
your perched mouth
rimmed across the edge of an obelisk
In seeing, how man is always
One part of a tenth….
Vela:
You DIGRESS!
[Pavo stands up startled, hardly amused. Vela sits down with a brazen look on her face]
Surely,
U do not need to give circularity
to your actions
I ASKED WHY?!?!
why give chase
when you knew I could
never be of any resolve
Never prod you the way
you so wantonly hoped for…
And you dare sit here fantasizing
over the flagrant tastes of your own shame
you licentious fool!
Pavo:
LICENTIOUS?!?!?
You cur!
How dare you cast these shadows
About my discrepancies…
When you, YOU,
sucked the flesh of the very
being that strung himself
Out of your womb!
Gave this this antecedent child
The same lips that once pursed over my own
edifice
and you, gave your face
to be a canvas for his smatterings
taking his prana
back into your pores
you, you cur, you
whorish beast
with that diseased thing
carrion you keep
between your thighs,
You will know,
That with all the vengeance
That keep within My eyes,
Will befall you and that foul
Incessant spawn of your laboring
But first tell me…. My sweet
Lascivious Vela….
Does the boy know of his real father?
Your piece in particular is interesting to compare the text to the performance: your use of italics, ellipses, and commas and how they translate in your performance. As you said in class, you pay attention to how your punctuation will affect your performance. I love that you amped up the soap opera feel to your performance. It feels somewhat Shakespearean in it's dramatics. The language is really beautiful and poetic. One thing that I really liked about the last one was your choreography and it's metaphor of a chessboard. I would've liked to see this or something similar retained in this performance. It just adds another great dimension and commentary on the dynamics of relationships.
ReplyDelete-Emily Riopelle
Like Emily said, I enjoyed the seeming increase in dramatics in this performance with regards to your text and action. I still enjoy the idea of the chess pieces moving, and if you are able to adapt that even further in these pieces, make the choreography more complex, microscopic and intrusive upon the text, then it would be taken to an even higher level. I can't wait to see if this continues into the next performance!
ReplyDeleteAs usual, your piece was extremely sexually charged; I'm so glad I didn't miss it this time around. And your sense of the dramatic, clearly inspired by classic works for the stage, is unrivaled in the class. But you also find ways to incorporate more contemporary bits of language (I'm thinking, in particular, about your Prince-esque use of the letter "U"), and your swagger throughout also conveys a more modern bent. This is quite an unusual amalgam, and it makes for some compelling and attractive work. However, I do not mean to suggest that there isn't some attention that needs to be given to the details of textual presentation. Sometimes your acting and projection are so strong that they outplay the actual syntax of the work, which is a little sloppy at times. And, if you're going to commit to punctuation, you should subscribe to it wholly, incorporating not only commas, ellipses, and question marks, but periods as well. (I see you're experiencing the same Blogspot-related trouble with indentation that I'm sure we've all had to contend with when posting our works here. There are [admittedly tedious] ways of working through these issues, if you are so inclined. Let me know if you are.) All that being said, it is both fun and inspiring to have you as a classmate, Jonah. Keep up the great work.
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